Awktards Anonymous

Hi, my name is ________, and I’m an awktard.

awk·tard

[awk-tard]  

adjective

1.

Awktardation- It’s a type of mental retardation, when chemicals in your brain freeze up when you are scurred/unsure about a situation.

The snipping of operatable brain waves leaves the victim in a paralyzed, “awkward” state of mind.

———-

Awkwardness, like any self respecting STD, is highly contagious, especially to those mutually attracted to each other.

 

My Story

As for my personal experience, it began when I was a child. I kinda always had a hunch that I was different but I really didn’t know for sure until about the 6th grade. A human I was attracted to started speaking to me and it was as if someone short circuited my brain.

I literally just stood there paralyzed.

And well… the situation got awkward and she left. And that’s when I really knew…I was an awktard.

The worse part of being an awktard are the sheer amount of people i’ve let down. If you could take a list of all the people I’ve infected, it would wrap around the Great Wall of Chine twice and possibly be visible from space.

Sometime I just stay up at night thinking, “damn, if only I hadn’t of gotten my sister awkward….where would she be now?”

 

The Future?

Is there hope? Maybe…currently the only treatment for Awktardation is subcontherapy.  A technique involving taking all the metal issues that cause the awkwardmess, and burying them under a layer(s) of subconscious.

Will there be a cure in my lifetime? I dunno, hopefully. I hear there is research being done in South America. In countries like Brazil there is this flower called revolution. The spores are released via fire and the resulting flower only sprouts in the ashes of toppled facist regimes.

———–

Treatment

Awktardation affects billions of people around the globe daily, or so we assume. Unfortunately we did not have the funding or social skills necessary to pursue an accurate survey but nonetheless, the numbers are accurate. If you feel like you are suffering from the following ailments…

-being human

You might also be suffering from Awktardation. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx for further guidance on how you can lead a better life, starting today.

The Snowden Situation

so russia was like “yo snowden, you dnt gotta go home but u gotta get the fuck up outta here” so snowden was waiting for his ride, which was really late, like “all the other kids left the daycare 2hrs ago but I’m still here” late.

I mean he culdve gotten a ride a lot sooner but the states run the block like deebo and people aint tryna get their gold chains/bicycles snatched.

But venezuela was like “fuck it, I ain’t scared, u can come chill @ my crib….cuz u know, they jst kidnapped my cuzzo a few days ago. “

And I teleported into the convo all late and was like “but isn’t ur cuzzo the prezzo of bolivia?..”

And Venezuela was like, “yeah”

And I was like “you knw they strapped and be ballin outta cntrl rite”

And venezuela was like “yeah, but its about the principality of it all”

Regarding Obama’s Trayvon Martin (7/19/13) Speech

A lot of people are probably impressed by Obama’s most recent speech. I think he’s chipping away at the power structures when he should be pounding. Any self respecting conscious person would.

Especially when he knows how much power his voice commands. It’s like Blastoise using bubble dance to extinguish a Charizard’s flamethrower when he could’ve used hydro cannon and saved us all the suspense.

You cant use a bubble dance speech against the flamethrower situation of discrimination we have here in Amerika and expect any real change.

Meteor Shower

Not just his will

Not just his body

the image of the black male is still being criminalized

the will of the black male is still being lynched

by laws designed to shackle their shine

by telecommunications designed to retard the mind

and contain them within boxes

and these boxes have bars

and the bars are made from too much doubt

—–

The black woman always too often misunderstood

by everyone it seems

their wisdom unplugged from the matrix

making us mis-educated;

eventually destining us to be

blunted on reality

and it’s falsies

But the faculties of tranzlator crews

study the legacies

of black magic woman

yearning to refugee from capfatalistic society

-dedicated from he to she(‘s) who struggle(s)