Please, Respect the Penis

“The Bearded Clam,” “The Whispering Eye,” “The Sticky Icky. ” She goes by many names be we all commonly know her as vagina.

Trannies want it, females got it, and males gotta have it! Since the dawn of the first muti-celled organism, or whatever the fuck they call dinosaurs these days, vagina has been the most coveted item in the world.

I hear a lot of talk here and there about vagina this and vagina that. Seems to me that in this society we live in, a lot of respect is being given to vaginas. There have even been HBO Specials where entire monologues, poems, and dissertations are written about them. And that’s cool, I have nothing against that. But never in my life have I or will I hear a tribute of any kind dedicated to my pal, the penis.

Now I’m not saying that a penis is more important than a vagina or vice versa. All I’m saying is that the penis should get more respect then it’s given which is basically NONE.

I know a vagina does a lot of work, I mean, if I had someone pounding me my entire life, trust me, I’d want an award of recognition too but owning a penis requires a certain level of sophistication and cunning that most of us respectable “swordsmen” just don’t get credit for.

You see, having a penis is a lot like having an overzealous friend who’s always trying to get you into some crazy shit. You’re like “no man, I think that’s a bad idea,” but he’s like “c’maaaawn, whats the worse that could happen?” And then you wake up the next day with herpes in your mouth.

Didn’t happen to me or anything. Just saying, when you have a penis you have to learn how to fight against yourself, internally. Not some of the time, ALL THE TIME. Cause everyday it’s a new adventure for what kinda stupid shit your penis wants to get into. So in honor of penises everywhere, I hereby state that this Thursday and every other first Thursday of the month be known as “Testicle Thursday.” It will be a day when all brothers of the testes, albeit natural or synthetic, vertebrae or invertebrate, shall come together as one and rejoice in the admiration, brotherhood and respect of the responsibility it takes to own a penis.

Mark it on your calendars men. Testicle Thursday March 3, 2011. Don’t be a pussy, show up.

*Drops Mic*


Am i wrong?...Am i?..And the church said

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