I tried to go the natural route, researching and eating various types of food combinations in order to cure my condition but it was all a waste of time. I decided to handle the problem like any other red-blooded American, with narcotics. Stumbling my way through the dark room with nothing to guide me but the faint light of my cell phone, I desperately began rummaging through my host’s medicine cabinet trying to find something, ANYTHING that could help me. After a few minutes of finding nothing I was ready to give up but then I found it. A small, clear bottle stacked to the brim with blue capsules.
At the moment, this meaningless looking bottle to some was a god send to me. I hurriedly ran down the hallway to my room. I wasted no time, tearing off the plastic seal I popped one of the capsules into my mouth. It was surprisingly sweet. My memories afterwards are hazy at best. There was no miracle effect as I was expecting but normality did return for a bit. Waking up the next morning felt I strangely ill. My stomach was in knots and toes 20 degrees below 0. Forcing myself to my feet I call the specialist and make my appointment at 2:30 pm. Fast forward a few hours and I’m sitting in the waiting room, anticipating my call into the next room.
I felt strangely serene, loose. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t nervous. Maybe I was and this was just my body’s way of handling it. To release endorphins to put me in a false state of security. The assistant finally calls me to the back and after a few questions and some zesty one liners, I’m in the specialists’ office. He enters the room all smiles, tells me his name is Dr. Moody. We get into business and I give him the overview of my shin. After dancing around with that story for a while he asks me if there’s anything else that is bothering me. This was it. This was the moment I had been waiting for.
What little fear and reservation I have in my heart I throw it out and tell him straight up, “Doc, I need to know everything you know about ___ because I think it might be effecting me.” We both laugh and he trades me a war story from his youth, how he went through the same thing. He tells me not to worry and to let it go. Easy for him to say. He got over his problem in a day, three days later and I’m still dealing with mine.
He laughs me out of the room and gives me a note for the hospital to x-ray my leg. I take a left to leave the office but end up getting lost in under one minute. Like a special needs kid I walk around the room in a full circle and make my way back to where I started in front of the receptionists’ desk. I smile coyly and ask her where the exit is. She smiles back and points behind me. A large door with the letters E–X–I–T in red, bold, typeface are written on it.
I smile sheepishly to make up for my stupidity but she doesn’t care about that. She smiles back intensely and slowly licks her ruby colored lips. She wants me. I don’t have the heart to tell her the bad news so I thank her again and walk out the building.The x-rays go smoothly and they tell me to wait a few days for the results. I decide that’s when I drop the bomb on the Doc again and this time demand a clear resolution.
I’ve never been much of a religious man but I feel if there is every a time for prayer, this is it.