Last night on the thirteenth of July at around 10:00 pm a pact was made. But this was no ordinary pact, this was a pact…between men. The Lion-Shark, the Saint, and myself made a plan that day. To walk into LA Fitness and dominate that gym like it owed us money. In the beginning I admit I was full of doubt. On the way to the gym I even openly expressed my feeling that something wrong was going to happen and sure enough it did. As soon as I sign myself in and try to sign in my two guests, the clerk tells me I don’t have guest privileges on my account. Luckily for us, he was a cool guy and hooked us up anyway.
Now past the troll bridge, the first obstacle of our journey was officially defeated but we soon face another. Standing to the entrance of he gym like a bunch of geeks we gazed out into the distance. This gym was full of superheros. Everyone, from the skinniest woman the shortest guy were freaking built to the max. It was as if Michelangelo sculpted them himself. Having been away from any real exercise for a year, my already flailing confidence was starting to sink fast. Backing out was out of the question though, we all scoped our targets, broke formation, and got down to the buissness of getting buff.
While the Saint went to the realm of free weights, Lion-Shark opted the age old strategy of hopping on the bike machine and watching everyone else exercise. By doing this you can figure out how all the machines work without having to publicly embarrass yourself by being a Hernado de Soto. And when I say Hernado de Soto, that’s just another name for explorer. Yeah, I know you haven’t seen that name since 4th grade, thats why I dropped it.
I on the other hand had my fill of the bike machines having ridden them days prior. I was now ready to try the big boy machines. I won’t bore you by giving you the full scoop on everything we did but just know that 2 hours later we left that gym like a bunch of Balboas. We weren’t trying to win the title, we just wanted to go the distance, and we did, so far that we had to pay an extra two bucks for running up the parking meter. Later on, back at the house, after cooking a healthy dinner full of protein and green stuff, the Saint confessed his weakness for the chinese shop at his job. But a short time before that we made a pact. A bond. To work out and eat healthy.
I had a vision of the Saint going into the Chinese restaurant, destroying all the hard work he did today and I lost it. My maverick mode kicked in and i picked up my box of fruit snacks which I had just purchased at Publix and slammed it’s entire contents into the trash can. With that single act of defiance, the pact, which before was paper document, was now written in stone. And that’s the true story of how 3 dudes from a small galaxy called the Milky Way rose above the influence and took their first steps towards greatness.