LA Fitness: Where X-Men are Made

Last night on the thirteenth of July at around 10:00 pm a pact was made. But this was no ordinary pact, this was a pact…between men. The Lion-Shark, the Saint, and myself made a plan that day. To walk into LA Fitness and dominate that gym like it owed us money. In the beginning I admit I was full of doubt. On the way to the gym I even openly expressed my feeling that something wrong was going to happen and sure enough it did. As soon as I sign myself in and try to sign in my two guests, the clerk tells me I don’t have guest privileges on my account. Luckily for us, he was a cool guy and hooked us up anyway.

Now past the troll bridge, the first obstacle of our journey was officially defeated but we soon face another. Standing to the entrance of he gym like a bunch of geeks we gazed out into the distance. This gym was full of superheros. Everyone, from the skinniest woman the shortest guy were freaking built to the max. It was as if Michelangelo sculpted them himself. Having been away from any real exercise for a year, my already flailing confidence was starting to sink fast. Backing out was out of the question though, we all scoped our targets, broke formation, and got down to the buissness of getting buff.

While the Saint went to the realm of free weights, Lion-Shark opted the age old strategy of hopping on the bike machine and watching everyone else exercise. By doing this you can figure out how all the machines work without having to publicly embarrass yourself by being a Hernado de Soto. And when I say Hernado de Soto, that’s just another name for explorer. Yeah, I know you haven’t seen that name since 4th grade, thats why I dropped it.

I on the other hand had my fill of the bike machines having ridden them days prior. I was now ready to try the big boy machines. I won’t bore you by giving you the full scoop on everything we did but just know that 2 hours later we left that gym like a bunch of Balboas. We weren’t trying to win the title, we just wanted to go the distance, and we did, so far that we had to pay an extra two bucks for running up the parking meter. Later on, back at the house, after cooking a healthy dinner full of protein and green stuff, the Saint confessed his weakness for the chinese shop at his job. But a short time before that we made a pact. A bond. To work out and eat healthy.

I had a vision of the Saint going into the Chinese restaurant, destroying all the hard work he did today and I lost it. My maverick mode kicked in and i picked up my box of fruit snacks which I had just purchased at Publix and slammed it’s entire contents into the trash can. With that single act of defiance, the pact, which before was paper document, was now written in stone. And that’s the true story of how 3 dudes from a small galaxy called the Milky Way rose above the influence and took their first steps towards greatness.


2 responses to “LA Fitness: Where X-Men are Made

  1. hey coyote, it’s david from the blog

    this is a fierce piece. beautifully written, succinct, descriptive, and injected with enough humour to cause me to smile while reading. you have a talent. go for it.
    the “war” piece (hey, that’s funny, war peace), was good as well. the picture didn’t tell me what kind of war it was, i’m guessing super-soakers, although reading it, it sounded like paintball. either way, it was a great description. as though you were in afghanistan fighting for your life, and survived to fight another day. again, your tongue was so far into your cheek, that i enjoyed it. i’m clicking the “new posts” below, so i can keep track of you. are you a student? you mentioned “homework”.

    and whenever you need a laugh……..

    read “thoughts on a colonoscopy”. one of my best. along with “miss saigon”.

    • Thanks for the support. The war was a water balloon/ water gun fight. Yeah I’m a former animation major and I’ve just switched majors to writing so I can take my craft to the next level. As for “thoughts on a colonoscopy” I’m already cracking up from the title alone.

Am i wrong?...Am i?..And the church said

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s