Upon hearing there was a new Conan movie in production months ago, I immediately replied with a groan. Even as a youngster I was never a fan of Conan. The whole oiled, muscular guy running around in loincloth just never did it for me; which is weird because I love pro wrestling. Anywho, today I happened to come across the movie trailer so I said to myself “why not?”
I must confess, the trailer looked promising. The new Conan is much cooler looking than Arnold was and I assume his dark locks and overall look is more closely related to the novels. The only thing that irked me was the Caucasian woman who screams out “CONIN!” Immediately the “annoying” alarm went off in my brain because she mispronounced his name. She said it like his name was a surname. Like that episode in Seinfeld where Jerry and George are trying to figure out how Superman’s name would sound if it was his last name. She pronounced it “CO-NIN” with a short “i” sound when she should of yelled “CO-NAN” with an emphasis on the long “a.”
The second thing that bothered me was that her appearance didn’t fit the overall theme of the movie. From the 30 seconds of footage that I saw, everyone was tanned and grungy looking but this woman and her dainty, pale, skin and bright, red hair completely stood out from the rest of the populace. Now I’m not trying to be a reverse racist or anything but I really hope she’s a slave imported from a foreign land or something. It would make me feel a lot better.
All in all, I’d give Conan the movie trailer a positive review. Seems to be an epic tale of sword and sorcery and while I’m not going to spend 11 bucks to watch it in the theaters, I’d gladly watch a bootleg in the comfort of my own home.