Porno Makes the World Go Round

~METRO POINT SAGA~

11/4/09

Porno Makes the World Go Round

 

So I’m at the Lindbergh Marta Station freezing my ass off while waiting for the train when I get smacked with a serious case of “bus blues.” Bus blues is a condition I often get anytime I’m waiting for a ride. Somewhere along the wait I get bored and my mind begins to wonder. Naturally I start to ponder every decision I’ve ever made up to the point and ask myself if I made the correct choices. The answer is usually “no.” After texting my moral dilemma to everyone in my address book, the train finally arrives.

It’s 40 minutes after the hour at this point and the Metro Pointe shuttle only comes once every hour, usually 20 minutes after the hour. Normally I’d suck it up and wait at the North Ave station for 20 minutes but I had recently bought a weekly ticket and was feeling a lil frisky. I decided to get off at the Midtown station and try to beat the Metro Pointe shuttle by taking an alternate Marta bus. It’s when I get off the bus that I realize I have no idea where I am.

 

After wandering around the grimy streets decorated with debris and illuminated by the aura of street lamps, I begin to doubt myself. I’m in a seedy part of town at night with a huge “come mug me” book bag strapped on my back. Commen sense tells me things could go from bad to worse at any moment so I take a time out to send a txt to various people letting them no where I am just in case the worst happens. And that’s when I see it.

 

Like a beacon of heavenly light shining in the darkness of the night. A sign from the cosmos telling me that I had not yet been abandoned. Just a mere few yards in front of me glowed the neon pink sign of “Insurrection: Adult Novelty Store.” Normally in this situation I’d continue on my way fore I am no pervert who spends money on porn but tonight was different. I was lost and stranded in the middle of who knows where. Anything could happen to me and if I’m gonna get potentially rapped you better bet your ass I’m gonna get one last glimpse of a pair of double d’s before I go down for the count.

I enter the gentleman’s establishment and immediately I am surprised. The first thing I notice is that the prices are pretty steep. Now I’ve never purchased porn before (preferring to steal it for free on the internet), so maybe this is the average way of things but my bargain sense was telling me otherwise. I had come into the store thinking I’d find an assorted array of $5.00 films but obviously this was not the case.

 

I left the shop, asking the clerk if they were hiring on my way out. Unfortunately he said no and in an instant my new found dream was put to rest. Nevertheless, I vowed to one day return. As I ventured back on to the mean streets of downtown Atlanta, I realized something. Maybe it was the kind gentleman with the purple dildo enshrouded in his black plastic bag who held the door open for me so I could enter or maybe it was the friendly clerk who greeted me with a smile but somehow, inside that shop, all life’s problems seemed to evaporate into the atmosphere. And that was when it hit me, porn shops are like the chicken soup for the lonesome soul.

 

In it’s solitary nature, in your moss infested basement, porn is the ultimate evil, stashed away in hidden folders on your desktop and secret crevices in your sock drawer. But once cast out of the darkness and into the light among its own, porn can be the great healer of men and bringer  together of nations. And yet we as a people we turn up our noses to these proud servants of the smut.

 

In my life I have been victim to the ugliness of beauty, the judgment of strangers, and the betrayal of friends. And in my life I have uglied the beautiful, strangered the judgmental, and betrayed both friends and family. Yet in this shop, I was an equal among my fellow man. This seemingly mundane experience I think has changed me. And that’s when I had to ask myself, could prono be my new religion? No way! It’s preposterous to even think such a thing. Or is it? I have “heard” tales of men walking on water but behold with my own eyes I have “seen” a lady gush forth with all the waters of her inner being.

 

Until next time…

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Am i wrong?...Am i?..And the church said

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