The Wandering Wolf Movement Known to Earthlings As Rashad



The Wandering Wolf Movement Known to Earthlings As Rashad

I started off today waking up early, around 7am to catch the shuttle so I could go to AIA and take a proficiency exam to try and test out of a class I had taken previously. As soon as I exit my room and turn the corner, I see a Styrofoam plate full of lasagna and a metal fork randomly sitting in the middle of the labyrinth like hallway. I immediately take a time out to thank the Universe for warning me that today was gonna be random as fuck. As I’m riding the shuttle and listening to the radio, I overhear that Columbus Day is today and that some schools and offices had been closed for the evening. I immediately go into a mental rant about how Christopher Columbus is a bitch ass capital J buster who didn’t discover anything but how to rape and massacre an entire indigenous people and get famous for it. So I proceeded to call Borders, my place of employment for the past year and a half and volunteered to work today. Cause I’ll be damned if I get suckered in to recognizing a fake holiday.

So after I organize my thoughts into a well written rant to post on Facebook, cause that’s how exciting my life is at the moment, I walk into the school building to try and get this test off my chest like breast reduction. When I enter the administration room, the guy in charge tells me that the office won’t be open until another hour at 9am. After wasting an hour’s worth of time respecting the resolve and courage of a limbless man competing in an MMA match but at the same time laughing my ass off at a limbless man competing in an MMA match at a venue aptly titled “ALABAMA PRIDE,” I head back upstairs to get to the business of education. I speak with another guy, who at first glance I deduced got his job by the people he knew rather than his skills, and he tells me the lady that administers the test would be busy teaching a class for the majority of the day and that no one else would be available to administer the test to me. He tells me I could drop out of the class today and try to take the test later on in the week, but honestly, I barely remembered much of the subject material so I decided to not screw myself over and stay in the class.

Easy “A” for me I guess. I go back downstairs to wait for the shuttle but I’m informed that the shuttle actually stops in the opposite direction. Ha-ha, nice try Mistress Misfortune! Before I go to the proper bus stop, I visit the school store to check the prices of their portfolios. I browse around a bit before I meet this thickish, chunky guy who works there and answers my query. I tell him that I’m an animation major, he gets excited, and we somehow delve into a conversation.

He tells me his name but of course I immediately forget. I think it starts with an “S.” Well, S tells me that if I’m ever at the building in the morning that he and his friends are always in the cafeteria playing video games. I Take him up on his invitation and as I turn around to leave, Island Girl enters the scene.

As soon as Island Girl sees me she immediately walks over to say ‘hi” (yaaay! No spit columns in your mouth today)but when she approaches, I’m in this weird predicament with me at the end of saying my “see ya laters” to S positioned on my upper left and the beginning of saying my “how you doins” with Island Girl parked on my upper right. Somehow I manage to say what I need to say to both of them without getting myself tongue tied and sounding incomprehensible like I usually do. I think I’m in the clear but as fate would have it, they both extend their hands at the same time! Now I’m in that awful position where I have to pick one hand to shake first at the risk of alienating the other person as if to say, “your hand is being left to rot in the cold, icy, air and currently has not been embraced by the warmness of my hospitable palm because I deem you less important to the person I choose to shake hands with first….bitch.” Oh Mistress Misfortune, you always do seem to get the last laugh. As I mentally curse my luck, I execute this weird crossover thing with my arms so I can shake both of their hands at the same time. S then asks Island Girl if she needs help finding anything. She tells him what ails her and I see my opportunity to escape so I take it.

What I really wanted to do however was to stick around a bit and see if everything was going smoothly for her but the weirdness of the situation made me retreat. Thus, the King of missed opportunities strikes again. While I’m back on Marta, on my way to Art Center Station, I get bored so naturally I begin to day dream about something stupid and or crazy. This moments topic of choice being, “what if I orchrastrated one of those call in radio promotions where you win prizes and stuff.”

So naturally I decide to text a select group of people a grand invitation announcing my official return from exile. With the winner receiving an all exclusive opportunity to hang out with the man, the myth, the future folk lore himself aka the Wandering Wolf, me. Yes I know, such a prize to be wasted on a single individual should be a crime in itself but what can I say, today I was feeling charitable. Ya gotta give back!

The text serves its purpose as I manage to crack a few smiles and here from people I haven’t heard from in a while. There were many calls and texts competing for the number one spot but ultimately the grand prize went to the lucky winner of Alyssa Lewis who had the fastest time of 36 seconds after the original post was sent. Honorable mentions go out to the King of Ethiopia in 2nd place, the Queen of Winford Housing projects in 3rd, and Bec Bec in 4th. Thank you all for playing.

After having my fun with the contest, the bus drops me off in front of Kroger and I buy my trademarked box of cereal in the flavor of Trix. After escaping the heavy rainfall, I do some work at SCAD until I arrive at the winner’s location. As I wait outside the gated paradise that is the 1660 Apartment complex, I am greeted by the winner of the “Wandering Wolf Movement Contest.” We then board an expensive futuristic type machine which elevates us to the floor of our choice.

We then proceed to enter the apartment. Immediately I notice the culture change as I am forced to remove my foot wear by the door. “Surely these people are the descendants of Kings,” I thought to myself. From then on I am treated with TOP NOTCH service as the hostess serves me with a wonderful lunch of spicy noodles and chicken chunks. After eagerly devouring the four star meal, we then begin an educated discussion of politics, culture, and the benefits of honest thievery.

The hours quickly passed however and it was time for me to fulfill my book selling duties at Borders. I bid good day to the fair lady as she engaged in her, which I assume, daily routine of getting molested by two other gentlemen whose names I will not mention fore thou is not a snitch. I leave the lavish apartment with a smile spread across my face as the sounds of “No Jack, you’re too big,” echo behind me. Who would have thought that in these dark days of the recession that good ol American traditions such as whoring were still common place in the households of average citizen?

Many more hours past and I end my shit for the day. From Borders I travel to the Winwood Housing projects, chill with its natives, and retire for the night. All things considered, I guess today was a good day.




Am i wrong?...Am i?..And the church said

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