As a child, growing up black, in a culturally white dominated soceity; I was taught and expected to always be the best. Twice as good to fit in, 4x to lead, because of the prevailing power structure. I rebeled against this philosophy because i did not think it was morally right to have to work twice as hard as a white person just to get the same shitty low entry position that the other barely broke a sweat for.
As i grew older, during my high school days, when i saw my lighter hued peers slack off but still maintain power and influence, i knew then that this privilage was what i wanted. The power to be mundane and empoyable. The comfort of being a normal American.