Stands Aside

As an American citizen knowledgable and empathetic about the corrupt policies the empire in which i reside enforces upon forign nations. And the millions of innocent lives lost then, now and in future times; I apologize.

The values on my empire, the culture of my empire, is pig shit. I accept no part of it. And i’d move, somewhere far away. But then i fear, one day, my government would find me and bomb me too.

Then again, even if i remained, they’d do it here too. Seems the safest place to res(h)ide is in the belly of the beast.

The Hetero-Lesbo Connection

What i love most about art is its subjectivity. FELLAS! If you see a beautiful painting walking down the street, maybe highlighted in turquoise yoga pants and or booty shorts, are you gonna not look at it? Survey says “Fucking No.”

I say this becuse Men and you too Lesbians, we are both on an eve of great wonder. “If my calculations are correct” (Billy. Power Ranger.Nerd) this summer is going to be a scorcher of apocalyptic proportions and that equals a lot of scant articles of clothing on steamy, glistening, bodies.

Men, Lesbos, let us all take a moment to bow our heads and reflect on these prophosized times ahead. Let us use this oppertunitty in global warming to UNITE in the joint operation of art appreciation. Because if you ask me (which you didnt), ladies, the hueman body is a work of art. Dont be shy to show it off. Fuck your parents LOL.

Lesbos, I know, I know…Histtorically you and Men have not seen eye to eye on many an issue. In most cases a defunct penis is what caused you to forsake men in the first place. But I ask of thee, let us put our past differences behind us! You like girls, we like girls, for the love of bootius maximus, LETS LIKE GIRLS TOGETHER!

As “King of All Assholes” and “Closet Hero of Men” I offer my humble penis (his name is Hammer) to do with whhat you will (no weird shit) so that this edict may become law; bound in the miracle of fluids that sires life unto the earth.

The dick is on the table Lesbos…the dick…is on the table.

Msg 2 the Otherside

Only YOU can prevent forest fires ineffect changing the world

Continue to rebel against the outdated designs of your guardians. Even if you are disowned or slandered, if your guardians truly love you they will inevitably accept you over their dogmas. Take it from me, a guys who’s been kicked out of his home/disowned more times than i can count for religious and political beliefs.

If your guardians truly love you, they will return for you when they realize the folly of their own faults. And if not, well, why continue to obey someone who has proven they don’t care about your basic human beliefs that makeup who you are as a human being?

Do what you have to do to survive physically. Lie, cheat, steal, whatever it takes. But in your mind and in your heart continue to remain independently true to the real you until you can escape to higher ground. And if possible, always bring with you a friend(s) you can trust. The path of exile can be a lonely one on your own. But even so look on the bright side, how many of you as individuals can they cast out into the street before you clump together like mucous membrane.

Ever tried to remove snot from a tissue? Kinda sticky.

Why This Joke Was Funny

Authors note: A few days ago I tweeted the joke “Feelin like Ernie Reyes Jr in a ninja fight #sidelines” but no one laughed. I’m assuming the joke went over everyone’s head so i’ll be taking the time today to dissect the joke so you guys can get a second opportunity to reclaim some of those cool points you lost earlier in the week.

ernie jr cover fitnessErnie Reyes Jr is an actor/martial artist who played the role of Keno in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze. Keno was left behind with Splinter during the final confrontation with Shredder because it was not his fight. Thus, he was sidelined. Here is a clip to get a better understanding.


I taught you everything I know about the dark. So that if I ever lost control, you’d know how to kill me. But when the time came you couldn’t pull the trigger. Your eyes blinded by what used to be. Unable to face the tragedy standing at the end of the barrel. 

inside the toy box lies a broken thing

the demon has a hold on me, its been 20 years

its’ icy fingers grab my throat, the grip tightens every year.

it reroutes my functionality, making me mute when i have so much to say

it tells me to distrust those who only try to befriend me

essentially turning me into a coward whose only instinct is to flee

“escape from your family who loves you, escape from those who try, suffer in silence until the day you die, it tells me”

I defend my actions by saying they never really cared but the truth is i never gave them a chance to

Really that’s the major source of my fears, to be judged harshly from that of my peers

so i continue to run, continue to hide, in my fleet i only wish to save them from the burdens of my psychological scythe

all the while they misunderstand and mistake my absences for uninterest in the happenings of their life

“a slow painful death, because you cannot end it on your own, to cease to live is to cease to feel these paranoid delusions become real, it convinces me”

In my attempt to be brave, i hide my sorrow with a smile

i become a doll, a play thing, an empty shell painted with a pleasing face.

if the face frowns they will ask why but you cant begin to explain, you want to but its much too impossible to try.

so smile instead, pretend you’re out of the red and hope that they are not the wiser

But deep down thats all youve ever wanted, a rescuer to pull you out of the mud

All your life you’ve tried to be your own hero.

all the while there was a constant temptation, a way out of the pain

to seek aid from the people in white coats

tell them of my ills fore i know they’d be more than willing to prescribe me a pill.

but that very pill i fear will be the death of my will.

i’ll turn into a pill junkie, a zombie, losing all the freedom this crazy mind creates.

but is the freedom worth it? has it been worth it all these years?

some days living in extreme bliss, others in fear

Tonight is one of those nights I want nothing more than to surrender.

and 365 magical pills a year would be more pleasant than a single bullet to the skull.

i force myself to sleep and when i wake up, the pain has subsided considerably; i dont feel so much like a loser; i dont really want to die

but this confidence is temporay

its only a matter of time before the sorrow is retriggered

is there an end to this waltz of grief and joy?

i wish i had an answer but i am just a toy