How to Successfully Avoid People EveryDay

Sometimes in life,  for whatever reason, you may want to navigate the public arena without being stopped by another human being. Follow these simple steps to ensure success in that endevour.

1. Do Not Make Eye Contact-Perhaps the most important rule on the list. When a human eye locks on to another human eye, this creates an atmosphere advocating communication. Whether for positive or negative, communicative contact has been successfully triggered giving them the ability to stop you. To avoid being stopped, simply look left, look, right, look up, look down, whatever you do just dont look at them. By not initiating eye contact you can successfully navigate even the most populated areas without being stopped by another human being.

 

2. Walk Fast– Speed walking is a great way to gain some distance on people walking slower than you are. Use this ability to quickly get from here to there in a timely fashion while also minimizing being stopped by slower paced humans.

Consequently, if you are ever stopped or get trapped in a conversation, continue to walk and increase the speed a little bit. This will increase the difficulty for the person trying to talk to you.

 

3. Dont Speak– No, i dont know what you’re saying. I just know, from years of experience, the less you speak to people the less people will speak to you. Use this tactic every day. By simply shutting the fuck up, you will notice, like a contagion, everyone around you also shuts the fuck up. This tactic is great for bus rides, commutes, car pools, you name it!

A Hetero’s Apology to LGBQ

Throughout my life living in the south, Georgia specifically,  I have been witness to a great injustice. Human beings who choose to identify as homosexual being bullied, harassed, discriminated by those who identify as heterosexual.

While i personally identify as hetero and am innocent in any of these festivities of discrimination, i still feel as if i should offer up an apology on behalf of my casstte. We heteros can be disguisting at times in our (in)descisons and actions against those that do not identify with our home team.

As a hetero I can understand being unattracted to the sexual activites of homosexuals but that does not give us permission to physically inflict pain upon them or any other type of discomfort. Nor should we try to police their lives and control who they choose to love and spend the remainder of their lives with for tax purposes.

So once again, homosexuals, on behalf of all heterosexuals, even thosse who will not agree with this post, i apologize for the transgressions my people have committed against you during the course of our shared existence on this planet we call Earth.

In time i hope my people can rise above their evil ways because they honestly have no real argument against you other than

“what you do is an abomination against the word of god” but most of these people who’ve ive encountered are not truly living according to the word of god (Yaweh, Jesus, Allah, none of em)  and “what you do is a crime against nature” but these same jabronies litter on a daily basis sooooo yeah…

Keep doin what you’re doin.

If however you want to talk about a United States conspiracy to sabotage the repopulation efforts of those they identify as African-American thats a story for a different day.

 

On Surnames as a Brands

While researching my history the other day, a thought occured to me. If surnames were used as brands for slavers to “ID” their slaves, in a hypothetical situation similar to that of the short story “Space Traders” from the book “Faces At The Bottom of The Well” by Derrick Bell; if a reignig corporation/nation/body of PWR did indeed decide to offer a particular undesirable class of human up for sale as commodities to a foriegn/domestic buyer; in this specific scenerio humans being of Ethiopian descent…would traditional European surnames, kept alive by the descendants of those held in bondage, be used to “ID” former claims of ownership?

Meaning, if in some parrallelogram (lol) universe, chattel slavery (not the prison industrial complex kind we currently have) was reinstated and as an African American or person of Ethiopian descent, your last name being Robertson…Could former slave masters use their wealth and influence in combination with legal policy to reclaim you as their property since your wearing your surname as their brand?

On How to Properly Approach a Man

Ladies, we are entering a new age of adminstration. One where traditional power roles are being reversed. For many a moon women have been steadily stalking the success rabbit and have learned to sink their talons into its hide, forcing it to the ground and draining the life force from its ventricals.  Because of this shift in employment polarity, the social politics of men and women are naturally changing as well. Chivalry as we all know is dead, its body left juxtaposed between a dumpster and a puddle of piss in a shallow alley where passerbys can regularly see. Taking its place is a man of mysterious intent, eyes masked by shadow and hoodie, whos body gives off an aura of emptiness.

So yeah… it’s a weird time for everbody. Fear not single and searching avengers, ya boi has your back. He knows what you want , your deepest hearts desires and he possess just enough, just a bit of fucks left to get you to your final destination. He knows that as a woman you were not classically trained on the art of the pick up game. And while I’m not the greatest myself (motivational issues) i do have the standard black belt that all men must enevitably possess lest they become 40 year old virgins.

Lesson 1 : Come Correct
Success in this game begins first with proper approach. I understand many of you are shy givin the politics of tradition and how in the past it was improper for a woman to address the man but times have changed and its time for you to change with them…Lord knows I have…Sorry i’m rambling .  Okay! Back on target. Come corrrect, yes!

When approaching a man first understand we don’t care about your shyness or any of the other shit you’re self conscious about that you think we care about. Guys are just happy to have a woman approach them at all thus giving us a much needed respite from the usual hum and drum of lifting the social introduction boulder.  That boulder is such a bore let me tell you.

Si, the next step is very simple, but very hard for women to do as your entire life you’ve (we’ve) been taught to lie, to which is no fault of y(our) own, blame the society we live in. The next step is to be honest. If you just wanna fuck a guy tell him your honest intention. If you just want to get to know a guy, tell him your honest intention. If you just want to…whatever, just tell him your honest intention. This way the guy doesn’t have to weave through the usual tumbled mess of trying to decipher your intentions (telling him to leave when you want him to stay, saying yes when you really mean no, using your friends to try and extract information from him) and can actually give you what you want.

Trust me, the truth works best for everyone involved. When you approach with the truth it will encourage him, your man, to also be truthful and ovetime maybe we all collectively can shatter this bullshit soceity of lies, half-truths, and misinformation. But ladies it starts with you first. Thank Chilvary, his last dying wish.

P.S. And men, when this wave rolls up dont fuck it up. Grab a canoe and float nigga, float.

On Digital IDs

Holla if ya hear me

It is no question we live in a futuristic society steadily advancing towards a Jetson insired space age. But with the advancements of technological wonder with every aspect of life becoming digitized, why won’t buissness retailers, polling stations, or any other agency requiring a consumer to provide legal identification, allow the consumer to use “Digital ID” as opposed to a physical copy of the very same identification?

I find it strange that in this Orwelian “Brave New World” (Huxley) we are entering, everything digital is accepted. From resumes, social media profiles to even the almighty dollar. Everything, except a citizens’ proof of identification when it comes to legal matters such as driving an automobile, purchasing legal drugs, or voting for the next puppet of these great United States of America.

The later example reminds me of a darker time in our nations history. When certain folk were not allowed to vote based on casste politics and when finally given the right to (after bloody struggle) were further disenfranchised by having to guess a certain number of jelly beans in a jar to recieve representation. In this new era of “progress,” where hue no longer has shade, I know my educated felons and poor people unable to afford the taxes and unable to reach the legal hoops placed upon identification recipitation can hear me while the upholders/supporters of a prejudiced system of disenfranchisment won’t.

But you dont hear me tho

On the 3rd Definition of Gay

Throught the history of the english language, words have been born that when aged, redefine their definition. In it’s infancy the word gay was used to describe an individual full of joy or as an adjective to describe something positive. As the word reached its teen years, it became villified by mainsream culture for its homosexual orientation.

Now in its mid 20s, gay has redefined itself once again. Gay is now used as a crutch for (wo)men too shy or unintelligent enough to oralize/describe their emotional disdain from the rejection of a person that does not find them desirable in any one or multiple ways.

So instead of acting like a mature minded person and ignoring subject originating rejection or inquiring as to the reasons why they are being rejected, the rejectee takes the easy way out and falsely mislabels entire groups of individuals for not submitting to their rationale. And then wonder why they can’t get a (wo)man.

On Gender Wars

It seems as if since antiquity, maybe even further, 1492 to infinity, thee two sexes of the human species, female and male have been at odds. Seeing as how both are polar opposites physically, one can understand and identify with the dilemma. However, it seems as if certain factions, most likely bio and philosophical descendants of the originators, have decided to wage a war between the sexes.

One side representing feminity and fighting to erradicate female oppression. The other, representing masculinity and fighting to preserve a PWR base however “Things Fall Apart” (Achebe). The interesting factor about both factions is that they both desire the same end goal: PWR. Yet, they have mistakenly crossed lanes with each other wheen the true enemy remains at large as they always have been; wealthy, land owning, white men…Historically speaking.

This is Cai once again telling you shit you most likely aready know.