The Hetero-Lesbo Connection

What i love most about art is its subjectivity. FELLAS! If you see a beautiful painting walking down the street, maybe highlighted in turquoise yoga pants and or booty shorts, are you gonna not look at it? Survey says “Fucking No.”

I say this becuse Men and you too Lesbians, we are both on an eve of great wonder. “If my calculations are correct” (Billy. Power Ranger.Nerd) this summer is going to be a scorcher of apocalyptic proportions and that equals a lot of scant articles of clothing on steamy, glistening, bodies.

Men, Lesbos, let us all take a moment to bow our heads and reflect on these prophosized times ahead. Let us use this oppertunitty in global warming to UNITE in the joint operation of art appreciation. Because if you ask me (which you didnt), ladies, the hueman body is a work of art. Dont be shy to show it off. Fuck your parents LOL.

Lesbos, I know, I know…Histtorically you and Men have not seen eye to eye on many an issue. In most cases a defunct penis is what caused you to forsake men in the first place. But I ask of thee, let us put our past differences behind us! You like girls, we like girls, for the love of bootius maximus, LETS LIKE GIRLS TOGETHER!

As “King of All Assholes” and “Closet Hero of Men” I offer my humble penis (his name is Hammer) to do with whhat you will (no weird shit) so that this edict may become law; bound in the miracle of fluids that sires life unto the earth.

The dick is on the table Lesbos…the dick…is on the table.

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Desires of the Flesh

What is it that makes the body attractive? Why are the ripples of my abdomen pleasing to the eye? I understand attractiveness at a primitive level. I understand the reproductive organs are pleasing to the sexes because humans are programmed to reproduce. But what about everything else?

Why are full lips so seductively magnetic? Why are the pupils of the eye hypnotizing to the soul? Why is the soft flesh of the neck the perfect target for the circular clogging of blood? What is it about lengthy legs and bulging biceps that would have you submit to their constricting grip like the prey of a boa?

Wrists, feet, cheeks, ears, every body part seems to have it’s own unique power of seduction. I pondered this question for a while until I came to the conclusion I had too much time on my hands. Why question the pleasures of the flesh for they are many. Isn’t it better yet to just enjoy them?

Perhaps. Or maybe I’m just picking at the scab of my humanity, trying to see if there is something divine underneath